🔥❤️Writing BDSM for Beginners!🔥❤️
The world of Ava Goode is a complex one. I feel that a lot of readers have the wrong idea about D/s and especially FemDom. In fact, Female Domination is seen as relatively taboo these days, unless you are in the lifestyle.
I find that a lot of D/s relationships in fiction are bad publicity for BDSM—most of the time, the Dominant (who is usually male) is just an abuser and I don’t understand why the submissive (usually female) puts up with it or gets pleasure out of it. There is a very noticeable line between abuse and Domination, especially when it comes to impact play. Knowing this line is important for when you begin your BDSM story.
A good place to start with your story is reading about the lifestyle. I suggest a good overview such as “Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge”. Of course, there are many non-fiction books on being a Dominant, especially a Mistress. And not surprisingly, there are a lot of non-fiction books about being a submissive as well! Suggested non-fiction titles like “FemDom for Nice Girls” and “Submissive’s Guide to BDSM Vol.1” are good places to start.
D/s is much more than whips and chains and bossing your submissive around. It’s a special dynamic that includes power exchange. A Dominant’s job isn’t just to “boss around” the submissive…They take care of them. It’s more about the submissive than it is about the Dominant, but they both feed off of each other. You learn this from both sides of the fence, which in the end makes you better Dominant or a better submissive, making your prose more realistic and believable.
Once you have your feet wet in the dynamic, I think it’s time to breach into the fiction side of things—but before you do that, read “Diary of a Submissive” by Sophie Morgan! It reads like fiction but is a memoir. It is excellent and is a good way to transition into the fiction titles.
I started reading BDSM erotica with Anne Rice’s The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. I then sort of upgraded to Shayla Black’s Wicked Lovers series, which the first instalment “Wicked Ties” is a D/s dynamic with a Dom and His submissive. Those are my two favourites! But there are so many more, and quite a few on my TBR list, including Gibby Campbell’s “Paging Dr. Turov”.
The last thing I will leave you with when starting on your BDSM erotica journey is Consent. SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. That is very, extremely important. Even when I do scenes for Ava in Goode Pain, I know she’s thinking of her subby and what’s safe, what is sane, and if it is consensual. Verbal consent is so important. And, of course, a safe word (popular ones are Red or Apples, but any word will do except for Stop). Dominants honor the safe word.
If you wish to find out more about Ava, check out the Goode Pain series, starting with EDGEPLAY, now available from Black Velvet Seductions! (See below for series links!)
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DISCLOSURE : I AM AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE – Some links are referral links – this is at no cost to you.
Other Books in the Goode Pain Series…
Edgeplay by Annabel Allan
Hard Limits by Annabel Allan
Annabel Allan is the pen name of author Stephanie Douglas.
Her SMOKE CHASER series is now available through Headline Accent!
Her GOODE PAIN series, books one & two (EDGEPLAY and HARD LIMITS) are also now available from Black Velvet Seductions!
GOODE PAIN 03- RIGGED is now up for preorder!
COMING SOON! DESIRE ME AGAIN ANTHOLOGY from BVS feat. XPOSE by Annabel Allan!
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I read Edgeplay. Coming from a layperson in the field of Dom/ Sub, I thought that book explained the relationship between the dominant and submissive very well. Looking forward to reading Hard Limits.
Sorry. I should have specified that the layman is me. Lol
Great blog Brit and Annabel,
Annabel you are a wealth of powerful information on Dom/Sub. I hope those interested in this way of life take your advice and read some of those titles you recommended and your series.
I ordered a copy of Rigged. Love the cover too.
Callie
Great article. This dynamic is a diverse as the folks that choose the lifestyle, but the bottom line is always safety. Loving the Goode Pain series!!
These are excellent resources – I’ve shared with other writers and readers. It’s so important to know the facts, thank you for this very useful and informative blog!
Thank you so much for having me Brit!
You’re very welcome, Annabel! Lovely to have you here.
Thank you, so glad you enjoyed Edgeplay 🙂
I definitely try to keep things both interesting and accurate! Thank you for ordering Rigged! 🙂
It definitely is complex! So glad you’re enjoying the series, Gibby 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Estelle! I have a whole list of kinky fiction and non-fiction books, so I’m always happy to share 🙂
What a great blog post! If I ever decide to write a BDSM romance I know where to start!
Really great blog, and I thought summed up the D/s topic for writers well. After 50 shades, not a very good D/s book in my opinion for several reasons, not least of all the not very consensual scene at the end of book one. A lot of writers have tackled D/s . The old adage of know and understand what you are writing about, comes to mind. I am not saying you necessarily need to experience any D/s, but you should at least understand the dynamic. Annabel has covered the topic well and her writing shows a deep understanding of the topic. If you enjoy this kind of romance you will love this series of books.
Totally agree, you don’t have to experience it, but proper research can be done in other ways! lol