ELEVEN REASONS NOT TO BUY KNIGHT’S FORK
11. Disrespectful words such as tallywacker and joystick are used with reference to male body parts
10. It’s long. (Not the tallywacker—well, it is, but you don’t wish to know that—I meant the book.) Knight’s Fork has 340 pages, and most new Chapters do not begin on a fresh page.
9. It has a Prologue and an Epilogue. That’s two beginnings, and two endings!
8. It’s going to take about eight hours to read.
7. The hero is a 28-year old virgin and proud of it.
6. The heroine is locked in a chastity belt, and she doesn’t have a key
5. The family tree is so complicated they needed to spread it over two pages.
4. If you read in bed, your significant other might be disturbed by your giggles and snorts.
3. The F- word is used, but only by villains, and only in conversation
2. If you read it in public, someone may ask why the naked man on the cover is lying in a puddle
1. If you don’t read every paragraph, you may ask yourself why the naked man is lying in a puddle