For the first time in years, I didn’t dream of guns and car crashes. Instead, I dreamt of grey eyes and a strong jaw. I dreamt of a wide smile and broad shoulders. I woke the next morning feeling clouded, confused and angry by the nighttime visions. It was nine in the morning. My head hurt and the only thing I wanted was coffee. I started the coffee and went to wash the grogginess away. After splashing cold water on my face, I looked into the mirror. I hardly recognized myself. Faint lines webbed out from my eyes and dark circles made my light amber eyes even darker. My face had lost its rounded softness and there was a thin white line formed over my thick upper lip.
Disgusted with the stranger in the mirror, I stumbled into the small kitchen for my coffee. Somehow managing to stub my big toe I knocked over the coffee mug I had been reaching for. I refused to look at my foot. Leaving the broken glass, I swore into the silence. Grabbing another mug, I filled it with black coffee and gave the broken shards on the floor a dirty look before grabbing my jacket and stepping out into the cool morning. My thin pajama bottoms and light jean jacket did little to hold off the morning chill. I leaned against the cedar post of my porch and closed my eyes. The cold seeped though my jacket clearing the fog from my drugged mind. A cardinal chirped to its mate and rustled the branches of the stunted cedar next to the porch. Listening to the birds, I didn’t give the approaching vehicle much thought. I figured it was one of my brothers come to check on me. Their constant supervision irritated me. Mom’s Jeep parked at the bottom of the narrow trail that lead to the cabin. From my elevated viewpoint, I could see John step out of the driver’s seat and the dark head belonging to Steven Sun’s handsome frame stepping out of the passenger side. Pride and anger kept me from running into the house and locking the door. John had brought Steven to my sanctuary.
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